Dear Diary,
Growing up as a people pleaser always felt so draining. Now, being a grown adult with lots of anxiety and insecurities, it feels even more difficult to learn how to let go of this urge I feel to always be my best version, to always do whatever I can to be loved by everyone around me. The concept of a complete stranger having the wrong idea about me, and even disliking my existence? That’s not acceptable. My anxious little brain keeps telling me that
I’m in the wrong, I need to do better, I need to fix things, and I need everyone to like me… But what for?
Geez, I’m not even
that important.
You see, I learned that I need to recognize my own insignificance in this universe and realize that
no one actually cares. Because why would they? Everyone is worried about their own life and how
they are being perceived by others! So who am I, and who am I trying to please? Why do I waste all my energy into caring about what no one else does? I for sure have lots of better things to dedicate all my efforts and attention to.
I had an amazing talk with one of my friends about this topic, and she was the one that helped me open my eyes and think.
Truly think. She made me realize how self-centered this is and how I (unconsciously) give myself way more importance than I actually have. Sure, I’m surrounded by a loving family and amazing friends, but these are the only people that
care.
Actually care, you know? And I don’t even need to make an effort to please them, because they love me and know me for who I am. They’re here for this exact reason, and they would never judge me for being a human. I make mistakes, I cry, I realize my wrongdoings, I fix it, and then I learn to do better. That’s how life works, and I think I’m already doing a great job at it. So I truly need to learn how to let myself be hated. I’ll never please the entire world, and I’m bound to cross paths with people that
will hate me, with reasonings or not. And that’s their right, I can’t control how someone else sees the world and how they feel. Someone dislikes me, but a lot of other people don’t! Out of dozens of people that love me, does this one stranger really matter that much?
2026 first goal: accept my insignificance and stop crying just because a random stranger blocked me on a social media or sent me a mean message.