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2023년 12월 20일
today's mood: feeling quite sleepy
weather: cloudy with a shy sun
song of the day: crazy form by ateez
dear diary,
it's still 1:17pm while i'm writing this, but i already feel so sad and just want to stay on my bed for the rest of the day ( partly because i'm really sooo sleepy, but also because i feel like i have no motivation left ). these past few days i started talking to my parents about how much i really want to adopt a new dog, since ours passed away at the start of the year and our house hasn't felt the same from this very moment, but they still insist on not wanting one. not because we can't, we have a big yard and i would take it on daily walks everyday, but because they simply don't want to. which, i know, is the biggest "white girl problem", but you really wouldn't understand just how much i wanted this :( i feel like i would really benefit from this new companionship, you know?
it has been a while since the last time i went on a walk. months, actually. and i really, really miss it. but i simply can't go alone, i don't feel safe anymore. there was this one time last year ( or at the beginning of this year, it's been so long i can't even remember ) when me and my mom went for a typical walk on the same path we always followed ( which has lots of trees around it and the air feels reeeally good, is such a refreshing atmosphere and gives you the best feeling ever when you need to relax ), but when we were arriving at the entry of this covered place there was 2 suspicious man that we never met before - which, well, is the biggest red flag when you're two small woman alone in a small city where you know everyone, so we had to come back home and never tried walking there anymore if my dad wasn't following us ( and since he's a busy man, he never wants to go ). but, now, with a huge dog by my side... i would definitely feel safe. and it would be wonderful, because big dogs need their daily walks to spend all that energy they got, right? well, i love walking for long distances, so for me this would mean having a lot of fun!
well, it doesn't matter how much i try to convince them and which argument i use. they are set on not wanting a big dog, because "we can't take him with us on our trips!". which, diary, is so upsetting, because we also have cats and they never come with us too! we never spend more than a weekend at our beach house and our extended family always stays responsible for taking care of our animals until we come back home. i wouldn't want to take him with me anyway! long trips on a cramped car would only mean unnecessary stress for the poor animal, specially since we would be taking him to an unknown place, so this would only make me sad and upset the dog :(
anyway. i will not give up on this dream of mine. this dog WILL be mine!
with love,
your mimi.
2023년 12월 18일
today's mood: feeling extra happy & motivated!
weather: sunny & extremely hot
song of the day: sweet venom by enhypen ♡
dear diary,
today feels sOOOOO hot, it's like i'm literally about to MELT, as if i was made out of icecream. this factor alone made me wish to staynaked while laying on my bed aaall day long without caring about any of my responsabilities at all. but, well, it's obvious that i can't simply do that, right! so i don't know how i gathered enought energy and went with my day, doing all my chores and even taking some time to take care of my coding projects ( like this diary, that i just finished today ) ♡ and, althought very difficult to exist in this hot-like-hell day, i actually felt really good with myself ( mostly because i was able to finish this page and i reeeally enjoyed the result ) and had a great afternoon after all ^3^ also. my dad bought me one of my favorite snacks from our local baker ( which is a sweet and soft dough covered in sugar and cinnamon, called "orelha de gato", lit. translating to "cat's ear" ♡ it's just so sooo good, i wish i could eat it this every single day ) and this made me the happiest girl ever.
i wish i could spend all evening coding and taking care of my site, but unfortunaly ( well, not really.. ) i'm helping my mother with her huge order of brigadeiros ( a traditional brazilian dessert made out of sweetened condensed milk and cocoa powder ) cause she works making these delicious desserts for parties and i always lend her a hand when there's too much for just one person to get done ( like today. we gotta do 1400 brigadeiros. CAN U BELIEVE IT? i'm already tired just from thinking about it ). but, well, the best part of being her main helper is that i always get to eat the leftover, so i guess it's a win-win situation!
i know i'm writing to the void at this very moment, but it actually feels so nice to have somewhere to talk about silly things and share about my day. i don't have many friends and i don't really like the idea of bothering them with all my babbling, so creating this digital journal was the highlight of my day, cause it means that now i have someone to share my thoughts with ( even thought that "someone" is actually myself ) without all the guilty that comes with oversharing.
i had fun writing this first entry! but i supposed it's probably filled with gramatical errors, 'cause english isn't my first language and, since i wanted this to feel spontaneous and natural, i didn't even bother checking my spelling and seeing if what i wrote here made sense. well, in my head it did, and that's what matters! i will definitely try to come back here every now and then and do this silly ritual whenever i need to put things out ^~^ thank u, my dearest friend.
with love,
your mimi.
today's mood: feeling quite sleepy
weather: cloudy with a shy sun
song of the day: crazy form by ateez
dear diary,
it's still 1:17pm while i'm writing this, but i already feel so sad and just want to stay on my bed for the rest of the day ( partly because i'm really sooo sleepy, but also because i feel like i have no motivation left ). these past few days i started talking to my parents about how much i really want to adopt a new dog, since ours passed away at the start of the year and our house hasn't felt the same from this very moment, but they still insist on not wanting one. not because we can't, we have a big yard and i would take it on daily walks everyday, but because they simply don't want to. which, i know, is the biggest "white girl problem", but you really wouldn't understand just how much i wanted this :( i feel like i would really benefit from this new companionship, you know?
it has been a while since the last time i went on a walk. months, actually. and i really, really miss it. but i simply can't go alone, i don't feel safe anymore. there was this one time last year ( or at the beginning of this year, it's been so long i can't even remember ) when me and my mom went for a typical walk on the same path we always followed ( which has lots of trees around it and the air feels reeeally good, is such a refreshing atmosphere and gives you the best feeling ever when you need to relax ), but when we were arriving at the entry of this covered place there was 2 suspicious man that we never met before - which, well, is the biggest red flag when you're two small woman alone in a small city where you know everyone, so we had to come back home and never tried walking there anymore if my dad wasn't following us ( and since he's a busy man, he never wants to go ). but, now, with a huge dog by my side... i would definitely feel safe. and it would be wonderful, because big dogs need their daily walks to spend all that energy they got, right? well, i love walking for long distances, so for me this would mean having a lot of fun!
well, it doesn't matter how much i try to convince them and which argument i use. they are set on not wanting a big dog, because "we can't take him with us on our trips!". which, diary, is so upsetting, because we also have cats and they never come with us too! we never spend more than a weekend at our beach house and our extended family always stays responsible for taking care of our animals until we come back home. i wouldn't want to take him with me anyway! long trips on a cramped car would only mean unnecessary stress for the poor animal, specially since we would be taking him to an unknown place, so this would only make me sad and upset the dog :(
anyway. i will not give up on this dream of mine. this dog WILL be mine!
with love,
your mimi.
2023년 12월 18일
today's mood: feeling extra happy & motivated!
weather: sunny & extremely hot
song of the day: sweet venom by enhypen ♡
dear diary,
today feels sOOOOO hot, it's like i'm literally about to MELT, as if i was made out of icecream. this factor alone made me wish to stay
i wish i could spend all evening coding and taking care of my site, but unfortunaly ( well, not really.. ) i'm helping my mother with her huge order of brigadeiros ( a traditional brazilian dessert made out of sweetened condensed milk and cocoa powder ) cause she works making these delicious desserts for parties and i always lend her a hand when there's too much for just one person to get done ( like today. we gotta do 1400 brigadeiros. CAN U BELIEVE IT? i'm already tired just from thinking about it ). but, well, the best part of being her main helper is that i always get to eat the leftover, so i guess it's a win-win situation!
i know i'm writing to the void at this very moment, but it actually feels so nice to have somewhere to talk about silly things and share about my day. i don't have many friends and i don't really like the idea of bothering them with all my babbling, so creating this digital journal was the highlight of my day, cause it means that now i have someone to share my thoughts with ( even thought that "someone" is actually myself ) without all the guilty that comes with oversharing.
i had fun writing this first entry! but i supposed it's probably filled with gramatical errors, 'cause english isn't my first language and, since i wanted this to feel spontaneous and natural, i didn't even bother checking my spelling and seeing if what i wrote here made sense. well, in my head it did, and that's what matters! i will definitely try to come back here every now and then and do this silly ritual whenever i need to put things out ^~^ thank u, my dearest friend.
with love,
your mimi.